A Divine Appointment with a Same-Sex “Married” Man

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Kevin is a bright, friendly young man that my wife and I met by divine appointment on a long flight last week. Though I am cautious about ascribing activity to God, Paula and I both believe that He wanted us to meet this young man who is in a same-sex marriage with another man. Here’s how it happened.

About a month ago I bought a new book by retired Southern Baptist missionary William “Bud” Fray. Bud even signed the book for me. I love missionaries and Bud Fray served long and well in Africa. I took his book on a trip last week, reading it on the flight over. My wife wanted to read it on the return flight, and that’s how we met Kevin. When he saw the title of the book, Both Feet In, he said that his father told him he should read that book. Kevin’s father is a Roman Catholic who lives in Florida, but this Catholic man read a new book by a Southern Baptist missionary, published by a small publisher (New Hope), and told his homosexual son that he ought to read it! This opened a huge door for Paula and me.

It turns out that Kevin attends church each week, a Catholic church. His same-sex partner is a Methodist chaplain who “preaches” weekly. I asked Kevin what his faith meant to him and what it does for him. He spoke mostly of the importance of the rituals, which have long been a part of his life. He also said that he finds serenity in an hour spent away from technology and going through a religious routine that has been unchanged since his childhood.

Paula and I shared with Kevin what Jesus means to each of us, describing who Jesus is and what He did to bring forgiveness of sin and the hope of eternal life. At some point Kevin brought up the subject of homosexuality, basically saying that he had come to terms with “who he is.” He was not argumentative or militant in the least, but he did repeatedly referred to his partner as “my husband.” When he learned that I am a Baptist preacher, rather than get defensive or turned off, he seemed to think that God had brought us together so that I could “answer some questions that he has.”

At one point he did ask me what my view on the matter of homosexuality is. I told him, “Really, my opinion on the matter isn’t important.” I continued by saying, “I learned long ago that if I could talk someone into something, someone smarter than me could talk them out of it.” I then asked him if he had ever read the New Testament. With enthusiasm, and perhaps some embarrassment, he said, “No! I haven’t. I’ve read verses. When the priest speaks I read the verses he reads. But I’ve never read it.” So, rather than tell him my view of homosexuality, I encouraged him to read the New Testament. I said, “Kevin, read asking God to show you Jesus. Pay attention to who Jesus is and what He did for you and me. What I think isn’t important. But what the Bible says, and who Jesus is, is of the greatest importance.”

Kevin really liked that. We gave him Bud Fray’s book. We exchanged business cards. And he said that he will let us know when he has read Bud’s book and the New Testament. I pray that Kevin will be delivered from unbelief as the Holy Spirit guides him into truth through the Scriptures.

Repentance is never easy. It is not easy for me. Pride and selfishness can so easily rise up within me. The Cross of Christ challenges and confronts these things in me. The temptation to self-sufficiency, prayerlessness, and a host of other vile and ungodly filth are ever “crouching at the door” of my heart. Kevin will have to deal with his own sins and weaknesses. But the Gospel of Jesus Christ is powerful! He can penetrate and pierce the thickest and toughest of human hearts. He can enter the minds of human beings, minds dedicated to bane and stupid and disgusting things, and transform them for His noble purpose. Rescuing and purchasing sinners from the dark domain of this world’s prince, and bringing them into His bright kingdom, is what Jesus does daily. He can do for Kevin what He did for me.

This was my first such conversation since the U.S. Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. I must confess, I can get very angry when I think about many of our nation’s leaders and where they have taken us. When I read about, and listen to, those advocating for the normalization of sin, and demanding that we celebrate such sin, I want to punch someone. I’m just being honest. But when I visited with this same-sex married man, the first I have ever met, rather than feeling anger, I felt deep sadness for him. Here is guy who is very likeable, not militant, and I don’t say this lightly, but my heart broke for him. My wife felt the same way.

We are praying for Kevin. We will have some level of correspondence with him. He needs Jesus. He needs rescuing. He needs some Christian friends to love him and help him when Jesus reveals to him what repentance will mean. Come to think of it, those are things I needed too.

4 thoughts on “A Divine Appointment with a Same-Sex “Married” Man

  1. Mark Bradley

    Great story, Randy. Thanks for a helpful example of attitude and witness. I pray Kevin will embrace the grace you and I both needed and still need, and that God will make him new in Christ.

  2. Butch Hall

    Brother Randy, thanks for this important message of and in Christ’s Love. Three Sunday’s ago I told the church, we have no right to hate homosexuals because God hates all sin and I am a sinner of sinners! Jesus was nailed to the cross for my sins that I might repent and enjoy His fellowship. I am reminded of the difference between a pig and a lamb. When they both fell into the mud puddle; the lamb cried to be lifted out were as the pig made himself at home. A story my grandfather Kimbrough shared with me many years ago. Love and prayers always

  3. Dani Melamed

    When I was young, Southern Baptists believed in justice and separation of church and state. It seems to me that now Southern Baptists believe in judgement and political activism. I believe that this is part of the reason many are now disenchanfrised. It is a big part of why I am.

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